Stained Monochrome Wings

Reversion

04-11-13

Put down the blade,

the pill, the tobacco.

You cannot. It compels you,

entices you

like an ambiance

heftier than a schoolgirl's first

antiquated love.

Realizing the need to refrain,

you try,

it tempts,

you give in,

so many times,

over again,

relapsing.

The withdrawals will come,

along with impulsive ...

Drug Addiction

04-03-13

The yellow ringlets 'round my eyes

dazed, confused

and faded

into naturally green hues.

Never a more juvient girl,

never so slow-minded

yet quick to act

And jumping.

It was the drugs,

the drugs that

were so down.

A new experience,

a simulant.

A new high, new

outlook on all

More Than Just Body Language

03-21-13 (revised 12-29-15)

They see

incisions like these

the cuts in my skin.

They give

me that look of

somber eyes,

and disappointment.

Just the look is all,

nothing more.

No words to voice condemnation

just to guilt me

via derisive body language.

Tell me, please, tell me.

S...

Victimized

03-16-13

You always play the Damned,

victimized.

I become condemned a liar,

cast aside for truthing,

you play Prey.

I am to blame,

all me, all me

apparently.

Like succubus,

once beautiful, you captivated me.

Now, Demoness;

blame me, I’m the vampire

extracting your ambiance.

Encase yourself, lock you away;

&#...

Vampirism

03-15-13

Cutting just to cut,

we want to remember the feeling

just to feel alive,

just to know we aren’t dreaming, or sleeping

or dead.

Maybe we should be

among all attempts,

attempted attempts.

All botched,

but probably shouldn’t have been.

Nothing more.

Forever fucked.

I’m cutting you, cutting me.

Cu...

Comatose

03-08-13

I love him, and he loves me

and we love them.

Exultant with what I have,

but you were so unadulterated,

so picturesque.

You couldn’t commit,

I tried too hard,

we couldn’t exist in a comatose state;

Taciturn,

I wasn’t coming through, you never allowed.

But he’s so caring and empathetic

in this apathetic world.

Thinking c...

Death of the Sandman

03-23-13

I'm falling asleep at the keys

Dysfunction desecration.

Mind numb, like all thoughts,

all colors dulled and eyelids heavy.

I can’t sleep, I can’t go to sleep.

I don’t want to sleep.

The dreams they come,

more like nightmares.

Poisonous. Diverged

between sleep and safety.

Beginning in my youth,

k...

Relax, Relapse

03-04-13

It’s kind of sad how my friends and I are.

How we talk about what we’re recovering from today, or what we’re trying to quit this week

How we try to stop the self-harm or the cigarettes or the drugs or the drinking.

And we quit. For a bit of time.

Until the depression sinks in and we’re cutting again, un-quitting.

Starting back at the beginning..

Relax, relapse.

 ...

The Yellow Flower

03-28-13

The flower gifted

so many years ago

blazed yellow of

Unrequited

and many

passed years.

And you knew, you knew,

suspected and never told.

The flower gifted

was as yellow as you,

and you in my life.

Also green with new

sexual discoveries

Gatsby

10-17-13

I see this green,

but it isn't of envy!

In the Valley of Ashes,

the desolate,

a decay in this unnatural way of

my sick, relentless

life;

Symbolic of the clock,

shattered in a house of yours nor mine.

This stand-still,

a love I'll never find

but pursue still.

Why do you haunt me so,

my sardonic beaut?

I'll t...